Thriving in The Cult 2.0: Gumballs, Learning Ukrainian, Commander

Dear Lucia,

It’s me again (no shit).

In the next few days I should be getting info on whether or not I have an apartment to move in to. Finding a new place to live has been incredibly stressful. 1.5 months ago our landlord told us that his family wanted to move into the house my friends and I live in, and so we have to find a new place to live on very short notice in the middle of a housing crisis. In honor of tomorrows potential news, here are some great memories from this house. The inhabitants call ourselves The Cult 2.0. I do not know why.

Introductions

Kristofer

The first time I came to visit this house Kristofer, the man, myth, and legend, slid into the open door way and took a fat hit off his vape. “Welcome,” was all he said before disappearing again. I was confused, sweaty, and concerned I was about to be kidnapped. I promptly made fun of his lunch, and from there our friendship bloomed. At that point in the summer, I was still living in your room and desperate to find a place to bring all my stuff blocking your window.

Only about 20 minutes after I arrived, Kristofer started showing me pictures of another potential tenant (competition) and asking my opinion. Obviously, I wanted the room, so I agreed that he looked too old (what great foreshadowing, so please read on) and that he was probably taller than kristofer. A rule in The Cult 2.0. is that Kristofer has to be the tallest inhabitant. IDK it makes him feel powerful or something, as if he doesn’t already literally control our rent.

Anyway, Kristo is a great guy and has genuinely become a great friend of mine. I will always look back at that first meeting a laugh because it really just showed me what I was walking into, and I did not realize how wild living here would be.

Juliana

Juliana is another of my wonderful roommates. The first time I met her was when I attempted to move in, but the guy who was supposed to be moving out hadn’t gotten his stuff out of my room yet. So I showed up to the house, two fucking big suitcases in hand, and they have to tell me that I can’t stay here yet. Looking back, they offered that I could sleep on the couch, which would probably have been nicer than me just relying on all my friends to house me. This was our first conversation:

Juliana: They will for sure be out on the 17th.

Me: Ok, I’ll come back on the 17th to actually move in.

Juliana: I’m really sorry about this. It is such a hassle. DO you have a place to stay?

Me: Oh, it [not being able to move in because the last tenant won’t leave and still has all their stuff in the room] happens. Don’t worry about it. I can keep staying with a friend.

Juliana: I have literally never heard of this happening before, but ok.

A queen, dissing both me and the tenant that wouldn’t leave at the same time.

Tomas

My first interaction with Tomas was around 2am one night, I was drunk, trying to make it up the stairs with a very large mug of hot chocolate (and Baileys). I tripped over the last stair, spilling my coco all over the landing. Tomas came out of the bathroom, looked at me, and promptly went to his room and shut the door. I weakly tried to say “I’m cleaning it up” but I am pretty sure he didn’t hear me, because the door was already closing.

To this day, I have been living here for nearly a year (technically, though actually physically closer to 6 months) out longest conversation goes like this:

Me: (standing in a kitchen filled with smoke)

Tomas: Sorry, that was me.

Me: Did you burn something?

Tomas: Me Chickennnnnnnnnnn!

End Scene. My second longest conversation was when I made fun of him for drinking milk, and the third was when he asked me if I left my keys in the door. I don’t think we have had other conversations, just vague gestures when we are in the kitchen at the same time and one of us needs to get into a drawer that the other is blocking. 10/10 quality roommate.

Luba and Natasha

Luba and Natasha are a mother/daughter duo that moved in while I was abroad. They are quite nice, and of course I feel bad for them since they had to flee because of the war in Ukraine. We never really had an introduction moment, just living in the same space and trying to understand each other. Natasha speaks a bit more English than Luba, but Luba is in the kitchen more often. Yesterday she gave me two bags of Gifflar and a can of strawberries for no reason. They are very sweet, though Luba’s phone has become a fire hazard. Her battery has expanded, pushing the screen up. Kristofer tried to give her a new phone but she would not accept it until the old one physically breaks. Using google translate we told her that it would explode and she sort of just shrugged her shoulders. Love that for her.

Gumballs

So, the header includes gumballs. Kristofer, when I met him, owned part of a gumball company. he recently sold his share, which made me sad but I could not afford to buy it from him. He would refill the gum in machines around town, and take all the coins home from them. This lead to lots of gumballs and coins around our house. One time, we were not sober and he went to move a bag, but it unzipped spilling thousands and thousands of krona all over the ground and down the stairs. He had to sweep the coins up.

Learning Ukrainian

Now, we both know that I am trying to learn too many languages at once. I barely have a grasp on English (the other day we were at a business meeting and I said I sleeped poorly, Marie made so much fun of me for fucking up in my native language…) I have a pretty ok time with Spanish. Then I moved to Iceland, where I am learning Icelandic, and due to all my french friends I decided to learn French, ON TOP of my passion to learn Arabic. So, learning Ukrainian just feels like the next step. (In all seriousness, next I think I am going to start Polish since so many people here speak Polish).

Since two of my roommates pretty much just speak Ukrainian, and we try to talk, I have picked up some words. The first is the word for cinnamon. кориця (pronounced like core-ate-see-ah). I learned this when she started giving me Gifflar. Between Luba, Kristofer, and myself we have 3 language conversations in the kitchen talking about the names for different foods. The problem is as soon as I learn words they go out the other ear. I hope to get better at learning languages and remembering them soon.

Commander

A few months ago, Kristofer and Juliana got really into Magic the Gathering. (Nerds). There are three styles of play with MtG, one of which is Commander. In Commander, you can play with more than the typical two players, and everyone’s deck is built around one legendary creature (your Commander) and their abilities.

Needless to say, they got me hooked. I, too, am a nerd. My commander is a card called Adrix and Nev, Twincasters. We started going to the game bar down the road every week to play commander with a group of people. Eventually, the bar grew too small and never had enough tables for us. We started hosting commander night at our house. Last time we played we had three commander games going, since our table is too small for everyone to fit at.

It is so fun to play this nerdy game with all my fellow nerds. It has also allowed me to meet a bunch of new people, Kristofer’s friends, Juliana’s coworkers, and other people who like MtG.

Dahmer

A few months ago, when Dahmer was really popular, Kristo, Juliana and I tried to watch it. Kristofer and I just ended up making fun of him the whole time and so we gave up after two episodes. Now we are watching Full Metal Alchemist, which is much more our speed.

Flamingos

My mother sent me a care package the other day, and in it was a shirt with flamingos on it. It is a great shirt and I wear it to work often. The other day, I came downstairs wearing said shirt, and Kristo IMMEDIATELY blasted Flamingo by Kero Kero Bonita. He literally maxed out our speakers (we are a very tech house, there are many speakers). Luba came downstairs to me absolutely going HAM in our living room and Kristo laughing is ass off. It is moments like these that I will miss so much.

Goodbye, sweet house.

I will miss living in this house. It is in a great spot, next to like 6 bus routes, as well as kringlan and skeifan. I have had many a breakdown in this room, but I think that makes it my own. It has funky little decorations like the stars you gave me from Norway, and the car painting diploma I bought at kolaportið.

Next time you visit, maybe you will have a different couch to sleep on,

Miss you bud,

Alex